Update on Learning French

Bismillah

So I published a post in September about learning French. I even opened an Instagram account to follow French accounts, interact and write in French as I learn.

But I’ve decided something else. I have paused that at the moment and would like to focus on my Arabic, to get it to an advanced level inshaAllah. I also want my children to learn and though I speak to them in bits at the moment, I should do more than bits πŸ˜…. Ya Rabb sa3id nee (Oh Lord, help me..)

That’s the update.

So my SMART goal is:

By 20th December, 2020 inshaAllah if we’re alive, I will have reached a level where I am reading children’s (ages 7-10) storybooks fluently and with excellent understanding. By then I will also have typed/ written 20 1-paragraph essays really well, in form of a mini book review or how my day went.

Stay tuned for updates inshaAllah (God Willing).

Have a nice evening,

Aisha πŸ™‚

What is this I’m feeling?

Aaaarrrrrgh! Feb 18, 2018 time 11:31 am

It keeps nagging at me. I keep feeling guilty.

I’m coming to work and it’s flexible, I’m getting paid, my boss is okay, I’m gaining some experience, I’m helping people get better (by giving them advice and medication for their ailment) but I still don’t feel fulfilled.

I feel bad that I’m not enjoying the work. I keep thinking “Do you know how many people want what you have?” “and think about it, this is a very okay place… It’s very close to your house, you work short hours, your boss is understanding, you’re gaining experience (regarding drugs and retail Pharmacy), you’re getting paid. You’re still at home when you child comes home and when your husband gets back… What else do you want? What else are you looking for?”

I’ll break it down. Here is what I want…

I want to work from my home. I want to know that I don’t have to go out to work everyday. I’ll go out when I want…I’m at home to manage my time how I want (I know I might not be productive because of the environment but I am working on that).

Having to go to work outside everyday just doesn’t sit well with me. It’s my personal feeling. It might just be that I’m not as passionate about it as I think I should be… I mean other pharmacists seem okay with it and are doing it. I shouldn’t be looking at them right? I know.

I’m not against working or even working outside your home as a woman / mother, do what works for you. As long as you’re happy, contented and following the Islamic guidelines then Alhamdulillah, enjoy!

I feel as if having a pharmacy in my house or next door to my house (think a Pharmacy shop as part of the house) then I won’t mind as much. Yes I’ll still be required to stay in the Pharmacy but it’s in my house.

I also feel I’ll be more comfortable working outside of the home if my children were grown-up or a lot older. I have very young children at the moment and I want to enjoy their childhood, be present with them (not that you can’t be when you work away from home, it’s just me).

I want to dress up for my hubby, see him off to work, memorize some lines of Qur’an, reflect on the words of the Qur’an, cook delicious meals, blog or do some work online, do some arabic lessons, read some pages of a book, write in my journal, call my mum and girlfriends, crochet some baby hats, get on the sewing machine, welcome hubs with open arms and a smile…you get the jist…

I’ll tell you how I think about it, which isn’t being productive for me:

I think “You know you might make use of it in future. It’s not a waste. You might want to open your own place. This experience will come in handy then. Is it that you want to wait till when you’re ready (when your children are grown) that you’ll start learning about the Community Pharmacy practice and how to manage it?”

I also think maybe I should just go into academics. I didn’t know what I’ll do my masters on but now I know. I want it to be in Biochemistry or Immunology. I love clinical pharmacy too. I want immunology coz I’m interested in the immune system and it’s relation to how allergies occur. I have a son with allergies therefore this is very relevant to me. It would mean a lot to me to make a significant discovery or contribution in this field. There are a lot more cases of children with allergies and asthma and it just seems to be on the rise.

Today Sat. 3rd March, 2018. Time is 7:37 pm.

As I read through the above I ask myself: “Is this what you really want to do? Open a community pharmacy?”

To answer I’d say “well, maybe.. I can have a community pharmacy and do what I want: raise awareness about sunnah and alternative medicine, healthy eating and lifestyle, chit-chatting with clients/ patients about deen, beautiful reflections and anything health.

This leads me to the question : “What do I really want to do? What am I passionate about (I know some people don’t like the word or don’t like to use it but it’s serving it’s purpose here). I think about what I’m passionate about as something I can talk about non-stop for hours…something I’m always excited to share and talk about it…

I would love to learn and practice Hijama. Hijama is cupping.

I’m also passionate about healthy wholesome food, healthy lifestyles, positive mindsets, learning real Islam and applying it in my day to day life.

I also love psychology and education.

I have a lot of interests and you’ll see evidence of it throughout my writings as time goes on in shaa Allah.

Having multiple passions leads me to get stuck so many times. Just choosing what to focus on or what to prioritize first makes me anxious (mild) but I’m working on it Alhamdulillah. I’m rediscovering myself, journaling and being kind to myself… taking things one step at a time… making dua to Allah… praying istikhara…

P.S. I wrote the post in parts as you can see from the dates, and wanted to keep it that way. (Friday, 29th Nov. 2019) 22:12

Ciao !

Aisha πŸ™‚

I am learning French

Bismillah (in the name of Allah)

It’s a beautiful midday where I am (Makkah), alhamdulillah.

I started learning French yesterday and I would like to document this process. I am so excited to begin this journey, eventhough as I write this I realise I want to pray isn’t for it.

I’ve a long list if things I’d like to do and learn and I’ll be sharing them on here. I realize I need to prioritize in order to start one and then go on to the next. Because I have soo many interests I sometimes get overwhelmed and end up not starting/ making much progress in one area.

As I wrote some posts back, I was learning NLP, the lessons part is over (ended in July. This month (August) was supposed to be for consolidation – I haven’t done that yet, but it is still possible for me to do that (model operators of possibility). Then September to December are for assessment where we have set exercises to record (as videos) and send to the tutor.

Ya Rabb please help me on this journey.

-Aisha

You want to be perfect

Hello person on the internet, how are you?

I remember a conversation I had with my cousin some months ago, about how she wasn’t posting much on her IG because she wanted a ‘perfect’ feed, one with beautiful aesthetic. Maybe I was in that place a few years back (and even a year and half ago – I hated making mistakes!)

So you want to have a perfect feed… What have you done so far to achieve what you want? What steps are you taking? What is your plan – do you have one and are you following through? Or are you just wishing and talking? It’s nice to talk, it felt good to talk. I felt like talking was equal to me doing the tasks. I could talk for ages about how I want to write and document, how I would love to write letters to my children for them to read when they’re older. I always talk about journaling and how therapeutic and cathartic it is, but when it comes to application/ taking action, I don’t have much to show.

This habit is slowly being dissolved, as here I am posting on this blog (albeit inconsistently), not perfectly, not near as good. But I’m okay with it, I’m happy because I’m making progress and I’m learning different things as write and post. I am doing something, I am taking steps towards becoming an amazing blogger and writer.

Remember: There are no failures, only lessons ❀

I am thankful and grateful to Allah Almighty for this growth in my life, for being cured of perfectionism. Alhamdulillah πŸ™‚

Have a blessed rest of the day.

Cheers, Aisha ❀

Ramadan 1440 AH, Day 29 (June 2019)

Bismillah

Monday 29th Ramadan 1440 AH / 3rd June, 2019. Time: 05:45 (GMT + 1)

Just had suhoor (the early morning meal eaten in Ramadan before the start of the fast). Prayed Subhi prayer, alhamdulillah.

Eid is tomorrow or next inshaAllah.

I’ve made lots of du’a (supplications) throughout the month. The month wasn’t as great as I would have wanted (Iman-wise and worship wise) but Alhamdulillah I witnessed it, it’s a huge blessing from Allah Azza wa Jal. I pray He forgives me my sins and shortcomings during the month and outside of the month.Β  Ameen.

I am extremely grateful to have fasted! Missed only a few days Alhamdulillah, and I look forward to repaying my missed fasts (from a few years ago – pregnancy, breastfeeding). I’m thinking keeping Monday and Thursday fasts inshaAllah is a start, to keep my momentum going and for me to not lose additional weight (I’d like to gain some healthy weight). πŸ™‚

I’m still watching some NLP lessons, putting in place my plan for the Lending library at Umm Ayman’s Library. Making lots of dua about it, that Alah makes it a success and of benefit to the users, Ya Rab.

Random fact – I’m working on Tuesday (which might be Eid day). I don’t know how I feel about that.

I look forward to reading the books I have pending: The Big Picture (by Ben Carson, had started reading it), Crazy Rich Asians (want to read it before watching the movie), Shame (by Jasvinder Sanghera), The Thing Around your Neck (by Chimamanda Adichie Ngozi, it’s our bookclub read for month of June!), and last but not least The Brave Learner by Julie Bogart! (I am especially looking forward to the brave learner! It’s about homeschooling and parenting, two topics I am very interested in!). Ya Rabb, bless my time.

I want to complete my hifdh (memorization) of Suratul Hajj as well. Ya Rabb alayka tawakkaltu (My Lord, on You I rely) ❀

It’s always lovely writing on here, even if it’s a few updates.

Thanks for reading (whoever you are), thank you. Have a blessed day πŸ™‚

~Aisha x

Islamic NLP course (in progress)

Bismillah

2nd May, 2019

I’m currently taking the Islamic NLP course with Aliyah Umm Raiyaan. It started in January and we’re close to finishing inshaAllah.

It’s the practitioner course and I’m really enjoying it. I’ve benefitted with immense mind shifts and practical techniques for some of life’s happenings.

I’ve got to catch up with a few lessons and many exercises, and alhamdulillah we’ve got a break for Ramadan (May) therefore, I’ll be using some of that time for that, inshaAllah.

I prayed a lot about the course and Allah made it possible. I am constantly grateful to my Rabb, my Creator for the person I have become and am becoming. It is only by Your Grace and Mercy my Lord. It is all You. Allah praise and thanks are due to You. Alhamdulillah.

Bye for now,

Aisha ❀

Current Mission

Bismillah

Sunday, 21st April, 2019

I have a current mission and that is to improve my Arabic (Sudani). I want to speak it better, read it, write it and fully understand it.

I started 2 days ago with a friend of mine from Uni. I’m so excited and I’m loving the journey, enjoying the process. I’m going around looking for posts written in Arabic, reading them, recording voice notes, sharing! It’s beautiful alhamdulillah.

Just wanted to pop on and give an update.

Ciao ❀